That’s the opening lines from Guy Sebastian’s most famous single – Angels Brought Me Here. It has been such for me. A long and winding journey. These last few months. From the beginning of 2009. I’ve said it once too many times to friends and family, but i’ll say it again. This year has been a year of many FIRSTS for me. My first mountain hike. First time for me to climb yet another mountain within a span of 2 months!! My first time doing a charity drive. My first time baking a whole lot of cookies & getting the house ready for Eidulfitri. My first time going to a karaoke place which only cost $2 per person to sing for a whole hour! I’m pretty sure there are some more ‘firsts’ for me to mention but they simply slipped my mind at this moment. All in all, I do admit – it is DEFINITELY a year of many FIRSTS for me. 2009. And it’s still not the end of the year just yet. 3 more months to go. I know for sure there are a few more firsts for me to do in the coming months. 
Been a long while since I last wrote in here. Yet again, I cannot deny that I occasionally have forgotten about the existence of this particular blogspace of mine. Of that, I am guilty. But well, what can I say. There were so many things that were vying for my attention these last few months. Things and people I must say. One thing I dare conclude – sometimes it takes more than one instance for you to truly realise the foolishness of your actions. Or perhaps not so much as foolishness, but naivety. There is still a lot about life that I have to learn and experience. That much I have realised and accepted. There may be some repetitions of certain predicaments or situations which I had gone thru’, and I thought I was wiser of. But alas, sometimes no matter how careful or wary or cautious one is, if it’s meant to happen, it will. That is what I have believed in for the longest time. Only way to pacify myself is – learn, reflect, accept and move on. Although that one last bit is the one which takes the longest, it does get easier as days go by coz time heals all wounds they say. It is only a matter of whether you want and choose to do it, or not.
I’ve long forgo the issue of begrudging someone when they have slighted me or when they have ‘betrayed’ me. Do wrong against me whether in words or actions. Whether with intention or without. Yes I still do feel hurt. Yes I still do think about it & ponder. Yes I do still take some time to reflect upon it and then to forgive and forget (this I try very hard to do!) about the incident. Yes I do still keep mum when you try to push me too fast, to quicken my decision when I am not yet ready to offer it. Yes I am guilty of all of the above, but pray do listen. All I need is a little bit of space and time. I am after all only like a lil’ speck of dust in this infinite space called Life.
Easy it is to begrudge someone when we have been wronged. Easier still to return harsh words to them and ignore them and curse them and say all the nasty things that I could think of . Just to justify my own hurt feelings and for being made the fool yet again. But if I had succumb to that, I thought to myself, it would just mean that I am none-the-wiser than I was a few years ago. And that is not where I would like to position myself at. 
Not anymore. One is supposed to be wiser as years accumulate. Well, at least I like to think so. Not the other way around. Although I do believe the latter could be said for some people. 
Anyway, after all that’s been said and done and experienced (by my own personal instances of course), I have come to a conclusion. And I am steadfast in this. Others may take me for a ride; they may hurt my feelings (intentional or not); they may take me for granted, or seek me only when they feel it is necessary; they may take loans from me and take their own freakin’ time to repay the loans etc etc. However, I will no longer bear any enmity towards them. Insya Allah. For the time that I spent on harbouring such ill feelings or ill will against them, I could have put it into much better use for myself. I very much would love to say that I have learnt to let go. To detach. From such negativities. More often than not, I have mentioned the same to my dear friends and family. This is no exception coz it also serves as a constant reminder to my ownself.
With one of my utmost favourite sentences from the Quran, I would like to end this entry: “Verily, it is in the remembrance of Allah that the heart finds rest (and peace).” – 13:28 (Surah Al Rad). ‘Nuff said.
=C’est moi=
This is my 1st ever entry for the year 2009. Once again, I have to admit – I nearly forgot all about this blog of mine! Oh shucks. No lame excuses to tell but simply I forgot coz I just had so many other things to do and well, there are other more ‘active’ blogs/websites of mine which needed much frequent updating I suppose. Hmmm.. So let’s see, I reckon another update is the order of the day. 
