And the truth is.. November 9, 2009

9 Nov 09 – the day he came clean and told me the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  To think that it all started with a pretty harmless phrase as my MSN tagline. :p Love happens indeed.. when you least expected it.  So who’s in love with you?? he asked me.  ahaks.. Gee I’m not so sure myself.  Who’s in love with me again??? ;p  so I had to break the news to him.. It was just a movie.. oops… ;p

but he confessed alright.. he confessed and come clean all about it.. didn’t really expect him to do that but he did it indeed.  I gez I wasn’t really surprised but at the same time, it all seems kinda ‘distant’ from me.  All I can offered him was a feeble ‘I’m sorry to hear that’.  But was I really??? Sorry that is.. Hmmm… I must have been feeling something else coz my heart was doing ‘triple somersaults’ when he said what he said.  Hush my heart, tis not the time yet. Not yet.

Could this truly be my 2nd chance?? Surely?? Coz if it is, I must make sure I will grab that chance with all the strength that I could muster and not let it pass me by yet again.   All in good time I say… insya Allah.. all in good time will be revealed.  I dare not hope nor expect too much from it all.  In fact, I do not hope or expect anything at all.  I will go with the flow and see where it brings me. 

2nd chances.. sometimes life DOES hand it to you..  so what will you do next??? till my next entry then..

=c’est moi=

Already Gone… October 14, 2009

The latest song from her which I am hooked on right now.  Love the melody, love the lyrics.. enjoy folks..

= c’est moi =

The Art of Patience.. October 14, 2009

There are times when I feel like I have certain things which are just simply over my head. Then there are times when I feel like I’m not giving them the much needed attention.  And then are times when I am simply not bothered by it all. Sometimes it concerns stuffs, other times it concerns people.

I think I am a rather patient person.  Truly.  At least I try to be.  Perhaps in nature, that is just how I am.  I do not like to be rushed.  I do make haste but not as often as some people would like me to.  I don’t like to just go by things without truly having a lil’ bit of understanding of them.  That’s the least that I could do for myself.

I can’t understand why some people simply cannot be a lil’ bit more patient with themselves or those around them or with their surroundings. Is it that hard really?? To just practise a lil’ bit more patience.  To give time that lil’ bit more ..well .. time. 

I have friends who falls under that category.  Dun get me wrong, they are a great bunch of people.  Kind, easy-going,  compassionate, loyal and many more positive adjectives that you could possibly think of. However, there have been many times when all I truly wish for was for them to have a lil’ bit more patience.  A lot of difference that would have made.  =|  Truly.  If only we can learn more about the ‘art of patience’.

= c’est moi =

3 ladies and a gathering.. October 11, 2009

Well, at least it was supposed to be another gathering but ended up, only 3 of us met. Me, Z and P.  The 3 ‘cute’ ones. Ahaks.. Oh well.. Doesn’t matter.  We still had a good, open, downright honest, heart to heart chat between the 3 of us.  A lot of experiences, observations and analysis shared.  The good, the bad and the ugly side of friendships and relationships.  The ups and downs. The obvious and the not so obvious.  The what-ifs and the could-have-beens.  The pros and the cons.  The minuses and the pluses.  Top, bottom, left, right and centre – we spoke about a whole lot of issues.  And it truly does opened my eyes and mindset a wee bit more than it already is. Well, at least I’d like to think so.

Dun feel like writing down much tonite frankly but just thought I’d leave a word or two.  I realise that no matter how long you’ve known someone, how close you guys are/were, how often you meet and communicate, it doesn’t really mean that you know all there is to know about that person. There will always be that hits-and-misses, those lil’ slither of information which you will no doubt be ignorant or oblivious of.  Plainly said, you simply are not informed of.  Or choose not to know.  And I say, leave it at that.  I believe that if there are things or information which you are meant to know, you will know.  No matter what. Truly only He knows better what you do or don’t need to know. Don’t spy.  Don’t intrude.  Don’t pry too much. Lest you will find out things which aren’t truly to your fancy.  And will therefore cause you unnecessary heartache and pain.  

Sometimes we gotta learn to give people the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they deserve it, maybe they don’t.  But let’s just put it this way – what you don’t know won’t kill or hurt you.  At least that’s what I’ve been told quite a few times.  And yes I do think that may just work.  Ignorant may not be for some, but at the same time I reckon there are moments when ignorance can indeed be blissful. And necessary for that matter.

= c’est moi =

Waiting.. October 9, 2009

It’s nearly four days in a row this week.  Been keeping in touch.  Makes my day it seems.  But not too much.  Dare not make much of it.  Afraid, still feels quite afraid to acknowledge the obvious.  =| Till when I dunno.  Just am right now. Afraid of going against my own principle in life.  A good friend of mine always say to me – “Your own happiness first before others.”  Otherwise, how are you gonna make others happy?? If you’re not happy to begin with.  Hmmmm… She has got a point there. =\  I  need to summon all the strength and patience I can get for this.  I have waited for this long.  Would waiting a bit longer makes any difference?? I can’t answer that at this moment.

= c’est moi =

It’s a funny feeling.. October 8, 2009

Grinning. Smiling & giggling to myself. The heart feels ‘funny’. Elated is the word.  What does it mean?? I cannot comprehend myself sometimes.  Hoping against hope.  Is there justice in doing that?? Hmmmm.. I dunno.  For now, I shall go with the flow.  May He guides me in my actions always.. amiiinnn..

= C’est moi =

Second chances.. October 7, 2009

Been reading quite a lot about second chances lately. Not sure if it’s a sign or anything like that.  A sign of what also I haven’t a clue.  But seriously, have been reading or coming across instances of a second chance nature these last 2 weeks.  Like a note I wrote a few days back – “Second chances.. sometimes life will hand it to you. And when it does – grab it! Life is too short to be regretting about a lot of things that you didn’t do or say.  Make peace with yourself and others.  Only then will life open up to you, and thus, you ought to do likewise too with life.”

Second chances.. sometimes I think I could do with a little bit of that.  I can’t turn back the time. Or undo the things I’ve said and done. Or perhaps say what I should’ve said. Do the things I should’ve done.  I can’t unregret the regrets that I’ve experienced.

Second chances .. yeah, I believe in that.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I just hope that I don’t let it fly by me again.  Everyone deserves a second chance I reckon.  And that includes me.

=c’est moi=

Jangan Ada Benci.. (No Hatred) October 6, 2009

A song which I had just come across by pure chance yesterday.  A song by Malaysian singer – CASEY – which apparently had somehow managed to skip this music radar of mine those years ago.  Tsk tsk.. What caught my attention most was the lyrics to this song. 

It fits to a tee of all that I hold so true to myself right now.  Jangan ada benci. No hatred.  Towards anything or anyone for that matter.  No more.  Detach. Let go. Live life the way I want to but within the boundaries of His guidance.  And mind you, His boundaries are vast and wide.  Masya Allah.  Do not rake up the past.  Nor let the past haunt you. Don’t let jealousy get in the way of doing or saying something worthwhile and uplifting.  Most importantly, don’t let bitterness and hatred breed contempt in your heart. Have a listen folks..

=c’est moi=

One week gone.. October 6, 2009

October that is.. I can’t believe 7 days have passed me by in October.  Too fast, too quick! Where did the days go?? A lot of things still needing my attention.  And sometimes I think my attention span is getting really shortened these days. Sheesh.

6 Oct.. the restart of the Understanding the Quran class @ Darul Arqam.  Am glad to be able to attend class again. After such an eternity of absence.  Well, not really but it sure does seem like that to me. A friend of mine decided to join me at the last minute and off we went.  It was a good beginning but I believe I have missed ayat 1-82 of Surah Al-Ma’ida.. What a pity.  But then again, better late than never.  Will try my best to NOT miss class anymore.  If time permits. Insya Allah..

Well, guess I better get my 40 winks now.  The eyes are getting to be slits again. Tsk tsk.. Oh well.. till next time then.. Adieu!

=c’est moi=

Angels brought me here.. October 2, 2009

And so perhaps they did… the angels I mean. The video to my previous blog entry.  Enjoy the song folks.  I sure did.  I enjoyed it most 5 years back. And I still do now.

=c’est moi=