Keep Holdin’ On… March 19, 2009

I came to hear of this song by Avril Lavigne purely by chance.  I was actually lookin’ for the latest single from Leona Lewis and I heard that the song was actually a duet by her and Avril.  So there I was lookin’ up for the mp3 and I came across this Avril’s song instead.  It’s a good thing I decided to give it a listen, coz now I’m kinda hooked on it.  I really like what the lyrics are all about.  My personal take on it is this: It’s about you not giving up so easily.  About you having someone to depend and fall back on.  Someone whom you could trust  and would be there for you.  No matter what. No matter where. Near or far.  And that together, both of you can make things happen. 

Well, at least that what I think it means ..to me that is.  Plus the fact that it’s got a rather edgy feel to it.  But not the head-banging sort of course. :p It’s been quite a while since I last listen to any of her songs and well, I believe this is just as good as one to start listening to her again. Nice.

So have a listen.. follow the lyrics if you can.. absorb and enjoy.  I know I did.

My latest ‘indulgence’.. February 16, 2009

This is my 1st ever entry for the year 2009.  Once again, I have to admit – I nearly forgot all about this blog of mine! Oh shucks.  No lame excuses to tell but simply I forgot coz I just had so many other things to do and well, there are other more ‘active’ blogs/websites of mine which needed much frequent updating I suppose. Hmmm.. So let’s see, I reckon another update is the order of the day. 

The one thing freshest on my mind right now – I failed my driving test again!! *sobs..sobs*.. That’ll be my 2nd attempt.  sighs.. still not fated yet I suppose.  But give up I shan’t.  Have already registered again for my 3rd attempt (and hopefully pls pls pls let this be my LAST attempt!!).  New date to note – 20 Apr 09!! Really wanna pass my driving licence before my PDL and more horror – before my FTT expires on 15 May 09!! I so do NOT wanna retake that bit! It’ll be such a pity to have to retake it. 

Well, that’s abt it on the driving part.  What is in my ‘indulgence’ list right now – FLOWER PHOTOGRAPHY!! hehe.. ;p I’m simply, truly HOOKED on taking macro shots of flowers/plants and everything else for that matter! hehe.. As you can see from the photo that I’ve attached to this entry, that is just one of many, many more to come! I can’t believe I never realise how AWESOME and addictive this macro photography can be.  Haha.. ;p Think I’d rather take photos of nature than people any given day!

I think that’s all about it that I can squeeze in right now.  Time is of the essence for me at this moment.  So many things that needs to be done, and so many things that will distract me at the same time!! ARggghhh…FOCUS YANI FOCUS!! Prioritise what needs to be prioritised.  ‘Nuff said.

=c’est moi=

Return of the mack.. NOT! December 23, 2008

Hello again people.. I must admit, I have been rather ‘callous’ in my treatment of this particular blog of mine.  Let’s see, it’s been approximately 6 mths ago that I last blogged here. What excuse do I have to give eh? hmmmm.. Well, I could list down a whole long list of ‘valid’ excuses if I do say so, but I reckon that’s quite lame.  You do what you gotta do.  No explanation needed.  At least I dun believe I owe anyone any explanation here.  This is my blog after all. Sighs..

So ok lemme, perhaps, give a brief summary here.. I didn’t pass my 1st driving test. Dang! So will be taking a retest next year on, of all days, Valentine’s Day – 14 Feb 09!! Yup, that’s the only slot which I reckon is most easy for me to remember! Haha.. ;p And who knows (prays hard), perhaps that’ll be the day I finally receive my driving licence!! Hmmm.. Must work hard at it .. insya Allah..

I’m finally sticking to a religious class now @ PKMS after what seems like an eternity of searching.  Hmmmm.. I still go to my Darul Arqam activities and classes when time permits.. insya Allah and am very much looking forward to doing more volunteer work next year.  That will be a new area of exposure for me definitely.  Getting to be more acquainted with the folks back in D.A, thanks to Kak Sal.  She practically brings me everywhere she goes.  Oops.. I’m currently what u may call a ‘tag-along’ fren.  Haha.. Well, it IS for the betterment of my ownself. 

Hmmm.. wat else.. oh yeah.. Nor got engaged in July..then Khud got engaged in Aug.. and then recently (as in last Sunday, 21 Dec 08) Yanti got engaged finally!! Mimah got married to Azhar on 1 Nov 08.  I was one of the 3 ‘official bridesmaids’ for the occasion. Haha.. ;p Apart from Warda and Gamar. 2 full days of ‘marriage-tinted’ bliss!! I had a blast those 2 days.. somehow or rather we became ‘calefare’ for their photoshoot! LOL .. wat a bunch of ‘baduts’ we were.. But I’m just glad that Mimah and Azhar enjoyed themselves and the wedding was a joyful occasion indeed. May they be blessed with joy and a long-lasting marriage.  Insya Allah.. amin..

Those are the people whom I’ve been in close contact with for the past few months or so.  Esp Izan coz well, we work in the same office and so, we are practically in each other’s faces every single day!! Hahaha.. In fact, I’m so much looking forward to our Korea trip this coming Sat, 27 Dec 08!! Yippee.. Finally another winter holiday! It’s been SOOOO LONG!! Pray hard that all will go well.  Insya Allah.. I just hope I can ‘tahan’ the freezin’ weather over there coz I wanna go skiing!! Weeeeee!! ahaks..

I reckon that’s about all the updates I can think of right now. Did I miss out on anything?? Hmmmm.. oh yeah, there is something else.  I found out thru’ valid and reliable sources that the ‘engagement’ between F & TG is now officially off.  Apparently she asked for it.  Hmmm..surprised I’m not and all I can say is, it’s all written by Him.  All the best to the 2 of ‘em.. even if they’re no longer together. *shrugs* .. No more hard feelings on my part that’s for sure.  It’s been non-existent for the longest time.

Will try to remember to write again soon here.  Most probably next year after I come back from my Korean trip.  Then that’ll be something else to story about. Yup! Till next year then folks… Happy New Year 2009!!

=c’est moi=

what a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG day it is.. May 8, 2008

It’s already 5 pm.. 1 hour more to go.. gosh I really can’t ‘tahan’ my eyes already.. feel like falling asleep anytime soon! argghhhh… it’s already thursday (8 May 08) now..one week of May gone. can’t believe it.. Next month’s gonna be my birthday!! argghhhh.. am kinda looking forward to it actually.  WOnder how I’m gonna celebrate it this time round… with a bunch of great galfrens again, or with someone special?? hmmmmm… I dunno.. I would love to just spend it with one special person for once dis time round, but hey, you never know.. Things might happen sometime soon.  I just gotta put in the required effort I reckon. haha.. No pain, no gain they say.  Oh dang.. gotta psyched myself up and just continue to make frens and meeting people whenever possible.  If it’s time, it’ll come I believe.  Just gotta keep the faith ya mademoiselle Yani!!

anyway, i mentioned in my multiply blog what a blast my 1st driving lesson was last Monday (5 MaY).  I had a WONDERFUL time learning all the basics and techniques of starting and then actually driving a car.  Sure has a lot of technical vocabs to learn and get used to.  Whoohoo!! hehe.. Insya Allah I will get the hang of them all.  Sooner or later.  Am very much looking forward to my subsequent lessons next week.  gotta make sure I’ll book my practicals way in advance.  I wanna go for a least 3x a week.  that’s at least 3 hours of driving practice per week.  $26 per hour.  In a month, how much will that be?? Hmmmmm… you go and do the maths! I’m just SUPER EXCITED to learn driving finally!! YES!! I gotta make sure I get my driviing licence before Hari Raya dis year!! THAT IS MY GOAL!!

Well, I reckon that’s about all that I wanna write for now.  eyelids getting exceptionally heavy and frankly, the mind’s not really where the body is. Haha.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. oh good gawd, I better just write off now.. cheerios!

C’est moi..

just another beautiful Saturday.. May 3, 2008

Yup it sure is simply another beautiful Saturday outside..and so what the heck am I doing here stuck on my butt in front of the pc?? Oohhhh.. I forgot.. I’m helping out Izan with her event yet again.  Argghh… but on a Saturday?! gosh.. what a major bummer man.. we should be out there in the sun running amok or something! hehe.. Well, what can I say, when responsibilities beckon, ya simply gotta go and see it thru’. 

I had wanted to go off earlier perhaps to attend a talk at Darul Arqam but then I realise that Izan would be solo for the rest of the day and my goodness, that would be UTTER BOREDOM I tell ya! Insya Allah next week I’ll get to go for it.. Hmmm.. or perhaps not coz I’ll be in KL then.  Ish.. I’m gonna miss the seminar by Dr Lang at D.A yet again.  Takde rezeki I guess for now.  =\ Well, afraid I’ll just have to wait for him to come again next time then.  God knows when that will be eh? hmmmm..

Anyway, part of the reason I feel like writing today is because of a dream I had abt two nights ago.  I think it’s really in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Before dawn broke.  I dreamt of ‘him’.  It’s funny how sudden the dream came coz well, it’s been quite a while since I dreamt of ‘him’.  I haven’t seen him nor have I heard about him or from him for that matter.  And so when the dream came, I was quite speechless needless to say.  Didn’t quite know what to make of it. In my dream, it’s as if he was ‘returning’ once more to do the business for good. ‘He’ came back for the better this time round and that he seemed like he wanted to catch up on things with me.  Hmmmm… how bizarre is that?? But all in all, I had a pretty good feel abt the dream.  A pleasant aura about it.  ‘He’ was smiling in the dream and ‘he’ was teasing me like he’d always used to.  I think I must have felt happy in the dream.  If I can recall correctly. Happy coz I got to see ‘him’ again eventho’ it’s just a dream.  What a wonderfully weird feeling that is. 

Well, what can I say? A dream Is but a dream eh? *shrugs* When you opened your eyes and you see daylight once again, it all seems so distance and whimsical to begin with.  Sighs.. well, whatever happens, happens for a reason I believe.. I have always been a firm believer in that.  They say, a DREAM is all it takes to turn something into REALITY.  It depends on you what that ’something’ is gonna be. 

Anyway, the memory of the dream stays with me till today.  Which is the reason why I wanted to write it down before I forget all about it.  It’s a habit of mine.  To write down my dreams as much as I could.  Before they vanish out of memory lane.  Who knows, in the future, some of ‘em might actually come true.  That’s all I gotta say about that… till my next entry then.. adieu!

c’est moi..

it’s been a while.. April 30, 2008

It’s been quite some time since i last wrote here.. not really a hiatus but simply didn’t have the mood or time yet to write down my ten cents’ worth. 

Well, what can i say.. it’s coming to the end of April 08.  how time flies.  So short and fast it seems.  My temp contract is coming to an end @ NUH.  i wonder how it’ll end.  perhaps they might extend me for another one month more.  Hmmmm.. but I will be applying for a vacant post in the Dept of surgery before dis month ends.  Who knows, if my ‘rezeki’ is here then by all means I shall give it a try at least.  The rest is up to ‘them’ to consider me.. otherwise i’ll just go on sending resumes in the private sector.. something’s gotta hit somewhere right?

Today, 30 Apr 08, was the last day that I’m helping out Juwita @ the Simulation Lab, NUS.  Been 6 long days.  Eventho’ I wasn’t totally involved 100%, but it sure was kinda tiring going back and forth all the way from NUH to NUS.  *phew* But on 2nd thought, I take it as a form of exercise for me.  *grins* hehe.. Still got a LONG WAY to go tho’.. sighs.. tired..

Think I’ll continue in another entry.  This one is kinda overdued already.  Was supposed to post it up yesterday but somehow never get the chance to.  duh! to be continued…

 

 

And so it ends… April 9, 2008

Just found out a while ago that I am no longer a contact of Miss NS.  She blocked me from her Multiply site.  Hah! No wonder I never receive anymore updates from her website anymore.  Oh well, not much love lost there I suppose. (shrugs).  Ya can’t help it if someone no longer wanna be friends with you.  It’s their choice.  You can only BE yourself.  If she can’t accept what I wrote down in my other blog, well then I suppose that speaks volume about her attitude & behaviour eh? What can i say – I am the ‘bad influence’ after all to her gentle, and innocent self.  Is that a fact even?? Yeah right… well, I reckon there ain’t nothing much left to be said abt it anyway.  Buat tambah dosa je kan… ish.. Water under the bridge for me.. Time to move on to better & more positive things… c’est la vie…

 

Nothing to do with rhinos.. April 7, 2008

Day 1 of the Rhinoplasty  & Facial Osteotomies Advanced Course.. dun be fooled by the name.. There’s no rhinos involved at all! haha.. Well, got in the office @ 7am today with Izan.  Thank goodness she agreed to fetch me from home via cab on the way to NUH.  *phew* gonna be 3 long days ahead.  sighs.. I guess should be ok.  If i can survive the MBBS exams period, I should be able to survive dis one! hehe.. Well, let’s see how the next 2 days go eh… cheerios!

 

It’s unbelievable y’know… April 7, 2008

Had wanted to write this down last Saturday but was totally bogged down with work in the office, that I forgot all about it.  Did my invigilation duties @ MIS on Saturday morning with Pah.  As usual, we’ll take the time to catch up on each other’s happenings.  Pah would always tell me abt her daily encounters or dealings with ‘Muncung’ aka Miss NS. Considering they’re colleagues.  It’s really unbelievable the stories that I heard from Pah before this.  I mean it’s not that I dun believe what she said or anything but well, like they say u won’t know how true something is till you actually hear or see it for yourself! And seeing that I’m also frens with ‘Muncung’.  But that Saturday aftn really opened my eyes to the truth of it all.  Unbelievable indeed!!

I never could imagine how someone whom you’d consider or call a ‘friend’ could behave in such a manner towards you or your common friends.  And to think that before all this happened, we were all such close friends.  Bunking at Pah’s home when need be.  Chilling out together, having some sort of adventure one way or another.  Doing business together and now this.  It’s been going on for quite a while now but that Saturday I experienced what Pah has been going thru’ all this time with ‘Muncung’.  Imagine this: you are standing a mere table away from somebody you know, a so-called friend but then that person looked at as if you’re just an invisible wall!! Yup that’s how it felt like last Sat.  I was standing next to Pah and she came in the office and didn’t even breathe a word of greeting or even bothered to come over and shake hand or whatever.  Wassup with that attitude man??!! Sheesh.. And so I had to be the one to actually say Hi to her (in my loudest voice possible! so there!!) and smile! Even that was greeted by a rather lukeward expression on her face!! My goodness.. I’m really quite appalled at some people’s attitude! But hey, that’s her problem.. it aint’ mine!! You wanna be that way towards others, then hey your loss man!

And true enough like Pah said, she never even bothered to say hello to Pah as well!! And you’re like what.. working colleagues!!! You see each other’s face on a daily basis for God’s sake!! So now Pah, I truly dig what you’ve been telling me all this time.  It’s all there and plain to see.  Heartpain man when I think about it.  But heck, I ain’t gonna be letting that bother me anymore.  I reckon it’s so true when they say, people will come and go in your life. Gez she’s one of them .. *shrugs*

Well, that’s what I wanted to write about. I was just feelin’ might pissed off last Saturday.  The irony of it all is that, I still remember that ‘Muncung’ saying that she dun quite like a particular person becoz of her fakeness.  (In actual fact, she dun like that someone coz she likes the gal’s fiance!! Long story that one..) Well guess what, she’s as ‘fake’ as that someone is in my book!! or like a galfren of mine likes to say.. she’s soooo PLASTIC!! true dat..

Aite then.. think i’ll end here for now.. back to work eh.. haha… damn I’m skiving!! hehe..

Saturday’s blues.. April 5, 2008

It’s Saturday, 5 Apr 08.. Time on the clock reads 1915hrs at the moment.  What on earth am I doing here in the office at such an hour? Simple answer really.  I gotta help out Izan for her upcoming medical course which she’s organising from Monday – Wed next week.  A lot of mad rush work these past few days obviously for her.  And that’s where I come in handy I suppose.  At least she got some extra hands to finish up all those paperwork & logistics and stuffs for Monday.  That’ll be another matter altogether for sure. 

I’m just chillin’ for a minute. Take 5.  Nothing else much for me to do but wait for Izan to print out those programme sheets for the event. Now what did I do today?? Hmmm.. started off the day with invigilation duties @ MIS again for Pah.  That was at what.. 8.30am till around 1 pm. So that ain’t so bad. What WAS BAD was the fact that it was a freakin’ LONG walk from the bus stop @ KTM to MIS new campus.  Good gawd.. it’s a good thing I decided not to take the bus dis 1st time to MIS.  Took a cab there and that’s how I found out how FAR the distance was if I had taken the bus and had to walk up that long road to the main entrance. Sheesh.. And in such hot weather at that too!! Bravo Yani!! Take cab, save the trouble walking but burn the $$ instead eh!! Sighs.. Anyway, I know better when I go there next.  Pah showed me the alternative way to get to MIS via bus. Whoohoo!!

Then on my way to NUH, thot I could just take the free shuttle bus @ Dover MRT. Not knowing that the free shuttle service ended @ 1.45pm!! I reached the freakin’ station at 2.15pm!! Argghh..merde!! So to keep my cool, I pretended to check my HP for a bit and then walked back up again to the mrt control station.  Took the train back to Buona Vista and then took bus 198 thinking it’ll stop at the bus-stop right opp NUH. But nooooooooo!!! I freakin’ forgot again!! That 198 does NOT stop there ya fool! Instead it stopped @ the NUS sports area.  Duh!! So I had to walk all the way from NUS to NUH in the scorchin’ heat.  Thank goodness for the afternoon breeze and the shades courtesy of the carpark trees.  *Phew* Finally reached NUH @ ard 2.45pm.  Started work proper @ 3pm.  And now I”m still stuck in the office… Where IS my social life?? argghhhh… I guess right now it must be in the SNOOZE mode!! duh..

The FTC gang must be having a ball of a time way up there in Fraser’s right now.  Since it’s Sat and all.  That’s when the MAJOR happenings take place.  At night. Sat is THE nite.  The DREAM nite. Hmmm… where did my dreams go lately?? =| I just hope I can regain it back.  Somehow..somewhere.

Too tired in the mind these day to think much.  Haven’t spoken much to my dad for the whole week. I”m always rushin’ to get to work in the morning.  And when I do reach home, it’s already way late at nite and he’s already asleep.  Sighs.. =| I dun feel much like talking these days @ home.  I’m not sure why.  Sometimes I feel quite invisible when I’m home.  I dun talk @ all to my bros.  Ain’t got nothing to talk to them about.  No common topics that I can genuinely & sincerely share with them.  And vice versa I guess.  *shrugs* Kinda sad really but I just can’t help it.  This isn’t the first time that it’s happened. Comes and goes like the tides in the ocean.  Weird thing is, I can never see it coming until it’s smack in front of me! =( silly or just simply plain ignorance?? on my part.. i dunno..

All I wanna do right now is get out from this office .. and go MAKAN!! I can’t think anymore.. eyes tired..mind’s drained… I need a good sleep..